A Birth Story

I feel like for you to understand where I am today, you need to know where I came from. For you to understand why I am choosing a natural home childbirth with a midwife, you need to hear my story of how I brought my little Lula into the world. The most blissful, most surreal day of my life was the day I had my daughter, December 12, 2009.

As far as pregnancies go, my pregnancy was relatively easy. I had the worries, the aches and pains, the nausea, the lack of sleep, the hormonal roller coaster...you know the story. The only thing that was a little out of the "norm" was my positive screening test for Down's Syndrome. This completely floored me. My husband was in Alaska, I was new at this, and I was petrified. After having the ultrasound, which they weren't able to find any markers for Down's, I opted out of getting the amniocentesis, which would for sure tell me whether or not she actually had Down's, but does pose a risk to the fetus.

I was busy with massage school and on my feet a lot during my pregnancy with Lula. By 32 weeks, I was dilated at a 3, and told to rest as much as possible. I was determined to finish school, so I continued to work hard, and rest whenever possible. I started having painful, time-able contractions by 34 weeks and was in and out of the hospital thinking I was going to give birth. Bedrest was prescribed, but I did continue to go to school, but do VERY light work. I ended up finishing school, and 32 hours after my last final, my water broke. I was 36 weeks and 6 days along....so begins my story....

As I sit here and begin to write my story, tears have already started to flow. I will try my best to clearly describe what it was I was actually experiencing...

The evening that my water broke Lula was abnormally quiet in my belly. From the moment I very first felt her kick, she was constantly moving. Certain songs in the car made her dance, certain foods I would eat would make her wiggle. If I was too still, like when I would be trying to sleep, she would give me little nudges to let me know she was still there. This night she was quiet. And low in my abdomen. We were staying at my parents house that evening and after dinner my mom mentioned to me how low the baby looked in my belly. I went to bed that evening around 10 pm and right as I was dozing off around 10:20 pm I felt a strange cramp. I thought I needed to go to the bathroom, so I got up from bed and on my way to the bathroom, my water broke. Needless to say, I was shocked. I still had a little more than 3 weeks to go and thought for sure I must have been mistaken. The INTENSE contractions 20 minutes later proved me wrong. The baby was coming!!!

Ryan loaded us up in the car and we were off to the hospital. A lot from this point is a blur, and I will spare you the little details that I do remember. Needless to say, it went by very fast and about 3 1/2 hours after my water broke, I was ready to push. I had 3 of the most important people in my life right there in that delivery room with me. My mom held my right leg and my mother-in-law held up my left. My husband was talking to me in my ear, whispering encouragements that were much needed. A few pushes and about 20 minutes later I looked down as my perfect beautiful 7lb 1 oz 19 inch long baby girl entered this world. I remember during the pushing how I would miss feeling her inside me. How we would never physically be that close ever again. But oh, how wonderful the idea of having my body back. Feeling a bit conflicted...she was easy to care for in my belly. I knew she was safe inside and so many things could go wrong as she will try and take in that 1st and most important breath. But being able to see her. Look at her face. Hold her in my arms. That surpassed all.

There she was. Alive and well. NICU was in the room because I delivered her 1 day shy of 3 weeks early. They had to run special tests and I was not allowed to hold her immediately although that was exactly what I wanted in my birth plan. I remember not being able to see her or hold her for what seemed an eternity. My mom and mother-in-law reassured me as they looked over her and told me she was beautiful and perfect. My husband stayed by my side until I got to hold her in my arms. I remember crying and finally my mother-in-law told the nurses that that was enough, the child was obviously healthy and it was time for me to hold her. Once she was in my arms, that was the closest to God I have ever been. My beautiful daughter was here. All I have ever wanted, and there she was. Her perfect little rose bud mouth. Her skin, so soft and smelled so new. That smell. What I would do to smell that smell again. No one else was in the room. We must have gone to heaven. My daughter and I were taken to a place where it was just me and her and I was in a state of absolute bliss. Pure, sheer, real, true heaven.

Now, like I said, I had a relatively easy labor and delivery. The hospital treated us well and the nurses were helpful. However, I felt like I need their help. They made me feel like I needed the epidural, I needed them to run all these tests for everything to turn out right. But it is quite the contrary. Women are made to make, and deliver children. We have been doing it from the beginning of time...and it has only been in the past 100 years or less that hospitals have been taking on childbirth. You go to the hospital when something is wrong, and a normal childbirth is NOT an illness. 90% of the time (a real statistic) child birth's don't need medical interventions. I will stop there before I get on my soapbox about the money-making business childbirth in the hospital is. But I will say...the hospital I delivered Lula at had a 1 in 3 caesarean rate. My midwife has had to transfer 6 out of her 4,000+ deliveries to the hospital for a caesarean. Some hospitals are higher...2 out of 3... People think I am crazy for having a homebirth, but if you look at the numbers, it is much more dangerous to deliver at a hospital. One more fact: the United States has the 2nd highest rate for infant mortality in the world...and the 1st highest rate for mother's dying during childbirth. How does this even make sense!? It's because we are intervening on a completely natural process that doesn't need any help.

I feel like I am reclaiming what women have had taken away from them when society and "modern medicine" bombarded them with what the "right way" to birth their child was. If you are more interested in how childbirth came to the hospital setting, research "twilight births" and "midwife exile".

To end this post, I am not judging anyone's decision on hospital vs birth center vs homebirth. A mother is a warrior and a champion every time a child is brought into this world, however it happened. I am just giving my reasonings for my choice this time around.

Continue to follow my journey!

Announcing...Baby Karns #2!!!

That's right, the Karns Clan is expecting our second child due in January 2012 and we couldn't be more excited. I, of course, found out right before a day at work and had to make it through 5 hours of giving massages before I could come home and share the news with Ryan and Lula. I honestly wasn't really expecting a positive test, although I wasn't exactly surprised when it was. We both knew the possibility was high...

The first thing that ran through my mind was, "Oh shit. We aren't ready for this." Immediately followed by pure elation and excitement at the fact that I get to be a mommy all over again. Excitement for my daughter, that she gets to be a big sister. And oh, what a wonderful big sister she will be. Excitement for my husband and I, as we get to revel in the wonder of creating a perfect little human that came from both of us. Our little family is growing, which is what I have always wanted.

My pregnancy with Lula was a very stressful time. A first pregnancy is stressful enough as it is, full of unknowns, questions, and uncertainty. Mine had all of that, as well as Ryan was in Alaska fishing for my entire first trimester, I was going to massage school full-time, and I was living at my parent's house. I also had a "positive" screening test for Down's Syndrome, and had to go through a level 3 ultrasound without my husband next to me. I was uneducated in America's maternity system and just said "OK" to everything that the OB threw at me. As of lately, I have been immersing myself in other ways to experience pregnancy and child birth. Reading articles, watching documentaries, talking with other people and hearing their stories... So, before I even knew I was pregnant with this little one, I made the decision to go with a midwife and have a natural childbirth in our home. I had researched midwives in the area, and came across Nancy Spencer, LM, who has her birth center located in Lake Tapps. She has been practicing for over 40 years and has "caught" over 4,000 babies. She also published her book, "Heaven In My Hands" (find it on Amazon) which tells her story as well as recounts a few births that still fill her memory today. I am blessed to have her hold my hand through this journey, and I am excited to share my story with others.

I wish I would have journaled when I was pregnant with Lula...wish I would have written down everything I was experiencing and feeling after I got to hold her in my arms for the first time. What the labor and the delivery was like...I can still remember it like it was yesterday, but I bet I would tell it completely different now, as I would have explained it if it were still fresh in my mind. So, that is why I have decided to blog about my natural childbirth experience, not only to share my story with others, but to be able to recount my experience in a real and true way.

You are welcome to join me on this incredible journey which will end with a perfect and beautiful new little life.