Oi...this baby is already giving me a run for my money. I mean, I was nauseated with Lula, I threw up a couple of times. But this. This is like nothing I have ever experienced. All day long complete and pure exhaustion. Exhaustion to the point where getting up to use the restroom is too much and my eyes are trying to shut constantly (which isn't good while driving). I actually threw up in a massage session. Didn't even make it to the bathroom and just hurled in the trash right next to them. Thank God she is a regular who completely understood. How horrifying though, right? Nothing sounds good to eat except for cold fruit and even drinking water is a chore. It is amazing how vastly different each pregnancy can be.
So, along with not feeling well there is this wonderful thing called "guilt" that is starting to take over. The house is a disaster. The TV is on much more than I would like because reading a book to Lula is just too much sometimes. Lula has been eating PB&J's morning, noon, and night because I can't cook anything without puking. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Ryan gets home and I am too tired to talk, let alone help get Lula to bed. Emotional outbursts are much more frequent than normal..."I'm sorry I am such a horrible mother and wife! I am just so tired, so sick. Please don't get sick of me. I promise I will be a better wife soon!" Ridiculous. I am so blessed to have such a patient, calm, and understanding husband who picks up where I left off. The joy's of pregnancy...
I will say this. Through all of this sickness and exhaustion, I am already so in love with this little baby of mine and I can't wait to welcome him or her into our family. Watching Lula play with other kids at the park today made me smile because she is going to have a little brother or sister to play with, help with, and grow up with. What a wonderful thing. Isn't a growing family such a wonderful thing? I think so.
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