Ok. So, I know that several posts back I talked about how I don't have a preference on whether this baby is a boy or girl. AND, I promise you, when I wrote that, I truly did believe what I was saying. But, as this sonogram is getting closer, I have been doing some thinking on what it would be like with either a boy or a girl. The sad thing is, is that, I am already a mother. I know the gender outcome doesn't matter. At all. All that matters is that the little baby that they place in your arms is there, alive, and well. I know all this. So, I do know how absolutely ridiculous I sound when I say that I really really really really want a girl. *Cue gasps, hands over mouths, and whispers of how superficial I am being*
I think that the main reason I am feeling this way is because Ryan and I both have brothers, and I would love to see the sister dynamic in my home. And, I know that we could have a little girl later on too, since yes, we want more than just two children. But Lula will only be two years older than this child, and how cool to see sisters so close?! I also just absolutely love my daughter. I love all the girly pink cuteness that she is. She is a princess and I would love more of that filling my home. Boys are a whole other species. I don't know boys, I know girls. So maybe, the unknown is what is giving me "boy anxiety" too. The whole penis thing freaks me out a little bit as well. I've only changed diapers with girl bits, not boy bits. Can I wipe it with some pressure? Or do I just dab around it? What about poo-poo diapers?! There is "stuff" that can get all coated in it. Then there is the constant yanking on it and talking about it that comes a few years later. And, what do you call "it"? (Please add your answer to this in your comments) Don't get me wrong, I do eventually want a son. I really do. I think having all girls may send me to the drink. Speaking of drink, I'll take a healthy glass of Zinfandel...wine, how I miss you... I just want a girl this time. That's all.
I have been keeping this secret for a couple of weeks now, and I just told Ryan and my mom the other day. My mom thought I should blog about it, since this blog has been a great outlet for me, and I have been getting such great feedback from everyone. *SideNote Thanks to your feedback and sending my blog along to new people, a writing job has been presented to me through a pretty well-known magazine. I will be sure to keep you all posted and will make an official announcement when things are well, official* So, here I am, laying my dirty laundry out for you all. I have exactly a week to get back to where I was before, where I will be ecstatic with either a boy or a girl. Put your judgements aside, and help a sister out. Please keep in mind, that I am pregnant and easily brought to tears.
So, a week from today, I will be announcing to you all our big news, and I am sure a little love note to our baby girl or boy will follow. I do know for sure, whether pink or blue, my heart is going to grow a few sizes bigger that day. <3 Can't wait.
I will cross my fingers for your baby to be a little girl. Sisters are wonderful to have, but I wonder what it would have been like to have a little brother thrown into the mix. Ok, here is what you are going to have girl, girl, boy and than to finish it off another girl :D
ReplyDeleteI always thought girls would be easier and more fun as well. Although I don't have children...I do have my baby sister and brother, Lilly & Sam. I wish you could meet Sam (you might have when they were visiting Kris). If you did, then you know how absolutely adorable he is. There is love in him that I didn't know existed. He is probably the cutest little boy in the world (and most of my family would agree LOL). Seriously though, he is quite the favorite! So, if you don't get the cute sister dynamic you are hoping for, you might get a little boy who absolutely adores his Mama (like most boys do)!
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